Downhill Down road 2019

2019 was a rough road. Everything that was a dream come true in 2018, it went downhill and more downhill, so much, that I knew the exact definition of anxiety and panic attack. But every journey has pages of 2018 that have brought me closer to myself and every chapter has a lesson to learn from.
Here are some of the lessons I got and the people that I appreciated during 2019.

1. If you aim for it, you will always get it.

2. There is always a loophole. There is always a way. From the episodes of The Vampire Diaries to Legacies to real life. There is always a loophole. It will take the extra energy left in you but there is always a way if you aim to work for it.

3. Every "yes" you get is a step towards your goal but every "no" you get is always a win.

4. Life is too short to live on "Maybe." Either there is a "yes" or a "no" but never "maybe."

5. Being called a straight forward bitch is way more worth it than being called a "friend" by the person you hate the most.

6. No regret policy.

7. Just because one is successful and follows a particular value doesn't mean that values apply to you as well. We all are different creatures and we all have different paths and values to unfold.

8. It's okay to ask for help.

9. Just give your best every day. Sometimes your best is more than 150 because you are feeling it, whereas sometimes lower than 3 because you have too much on your plate. Either way, you are still worth it.

10. Put yourself first.
This was the biggest lesson of my life. I gave up time and effort in the name of friendship and mentorship but when I expected the same time and effort from the person, their hands were tied. That was the harsh time when I realized if I don't put myself first I shouldn't expect to do it from others.

This year I have met too many temporary people, who walked in, stumped on my feelings, kicked off my values, slashed off my trust and walked out as if I was a speck of dust. But out of all these, there were some who stayed and impacted my life so much more than anything else.

To Taryn Wright.
You are the first person who reminded me again and again and every freaking day that I am worth it. The summer broke me apart and you constantly put the effort to know me. You are the best boss I ever had in my life. You respected me and my values way more than anything else. Thankful to have you in my life.

 To Hilaire,
I was a skeptic of mental health and everything related to it but you were the one who actually took some time to check up on me and most importantly you were there when I took the hard step to seek a counselor. You were there when I lost my sleep and needed a friend.

To Morgan Smith,
You are my better half. I am so thankful that you were my RA partner. You were the bundle of joy who never forgot to laugh at my silly jokes. Let's pose like one Direction.

To the entire RA Crew,
Thanks for being the best team and pushing me through hard times. Thanks for being there when I needed a hug. Thanks for being there when I needed that extra push for self-care. Thanks for always making sure that I was okay. I will always be grateful for it.

To Abby and Annika,
Thanks for knocking at my door when I shut everyone. Thanks for giving me time and shoulder when I cried about "adulting"

To Upama and Shulkav,
Life in Laramie would be hard without you. Thanks for tolerating me and always having a spare shot of tequila for me.

To Mariah,
Thanks for always making me feel special and always offering a celebration with tiny little things.

2019 was rough but I am excited about 2020. It's gonna be a year of healing, self-care, self-love, new beginnings, and new achievements. 

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