The truth that lies

My first day of college 
I still remember it clearly
as if it were just yesterday.
 I still remember how dynamically I woke up
as if sparks were emitting from my body
like a firecracker.

My first day of college 
It always roams around my mind
like a gypsy in search of a place.
I remember
I wore a kurthi, which hugged my body
like a curvy vase.

I  donned up a shawl around my neck 
I put on my favorite bangles
that made a clanking noise
and my favorite pair of earrings 
with matching slippers
and along with it
I didn't forget to wear my glasses

My first day of college
I still remember 
I grabbed my bag full of books
and walked confidently across the hall 
through the stairs
and finally to the classroom.

Out of 70 
there were a handful of people
sitting and babbling with their friends
I thought maybe 
I should talk to them.
I stepped forward and said Hi
whereas they broke into laughter and
indignantly called me a "JOKER"
at the top of their voices.

Disappointed I walked away
and sat on the first bench.
Whenever anyone walked by
they would laugh, flash a giggle
at my face and
state me as an "Idiot"
Some gave me the tagline "Behengi"

My first day at college
I still remember like a bullying zone.
I wish before I entered,
the college should have given me a brochure 
warning with the huge bold red letters
Those girls who wear kurthi are bullied "
and maybe I would have avoided that.

Maybe I would have.

My first day of college
I still remember I was having 
lunch at the college canteen
Few boys showed up teasing me 
and pulling my shawl.
The girls in their jeans and micro-minis
came forward.
I thought they would put a full-stop
But, I was wrong.
Instead, they joined in and began by putting a comma

I wonder
how these girls easily judged
people who wore kurthi.
Whereas they would be the one
protesting and marching with banners
"Don't Judge A Girl by Her Clothes"

I wonder
how these boys can easily touch
my clothes and state me as an illiterate.
Whereas they would be the one
putting restrictions to their
future daughters saying
"Why are you this late?"

I wonder
how my other college mates
just looked at me and ignored the scene
as if nothing happened.
Whereas they would be the one
winning first prize for debate and essay writing
They would be the first one showing
sympathy after the accident
but the last one to speak against it.

My first day of college
It still plays like a movie
in my head.
People would pause, play, rewind and forward it
 nobody would try to delete it.


Photos By: Ashin Joshi
Model: Abani Malla 

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