She was my marijuana

Cold breeze and frosty snow. On that stodgy early morning, I parked my bike and marched to the class. Being an extreme introvert, I made my way to the last seat at the corner. And, then you showed up.

Searching for a vacant seat, you made your way beside me. Starting with Hi!!, few talks and smiles, days later, we ended up texting each other at times. Whenever your message popped out, it stole my breath. Never thought those feelings would one day exist in me.

Those late night talks turned into the late night long walks and those smiles turned into laughs. I can't forget the day when I confessed you about my love. It was a long awkward silence but then you hugged me tight and said,  " I thought you were never going to say that, I love you too" and those words worked like a tattoo on my heart.

You weren't just a girl.
You were the whole heaven of stunning grace.
You were a storm in my life which I loved to chase.

You were my beautiful, not like those in the magazines but for the way you thought, for the sparkle in your eyes when you talked about something you loved. You were my beautiful, deep down the soul.

You smiled a lot and when you laughed, it did something to my chest that made it felt like a balloon slowly inflating in there.
Your lips tasted like berries freshly picked from a branch, just enough sweetness for me to immediately crave more.
Your scent had tentacles that wrapped around my body, seducing me with something that I dreamt about. Every night I fought with my eyes to stay awake because no dream was prettier than the way you slept in my arms.

Everything was addicting about you.

Until the whole world turned upside down.

 I hated how the other guys tried to talk with you and hated how their beastly eyes roamed around your body. We were breaking, collapsing and crumbling. We fought for so many silly reasons. But still, piece by piece I filled the holes and restored the faith. But yet again I failed.

I failed to fix the broken hearts, incomplete conversation, and long useless arguments.

It still hurts deep down.
How easily you turned me down every time.
How easily you gave up on us.

I did try my best to move on as well but none of it worked.
Sometimes I just wish to erase you out from my mind.
Sometimes I even beg God to omit those chapters spent with you. But I guess he is too busy with your new love life.

I realized Love remained inside me. It was BEAUTIFUL....A BEAUTIFUL ACHE.

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