Let's start all over again

It's been years, long dreadful years and my guilt is tearing me apart and ripping my soul every night. People say,"Karma is a bitch" and I do agree with that because years ago I left her and never turned back. Years ago when I slit her heart out in a blink of an eye. Years ago when nothing worked between us and instead of mending and fixing it, I chose to abandon it. Years ago when tears rolled down her cheeks every night and her pillow knew, I chose to agree with my own imaginary fact that 'She was overreacting'. Years ago when her swollen eyes would search the old me and all she got was new me who was too busy, busy with the useless shits. And yes Karma is a Bitch because I feel it now.

I don't feel like writing

I am confused, strangled and suffocating in the maze of words.
I don't know what to write! Shall I just copy and paste some incredible breath-taking words and post it, feeling unreal and not really me.
Or just wander through each neuron and search for something to write.